I am writing this at 1:37am on a whim because I find myself in the depths of my thoughts again. Its been exactly 7 weeks since my breakup and I must admit, I am feeling lonely. I’m not really sure what spurred on this desire to spontaneously create a blog but its something my heart was itching to do, so I went ahead and did it. Now, I really don’t know how blogs work. I don’t even really know what I want to write about or how to maintain a blog. Navigating wordpress and changing the title of the website alone confused the hell out of me. So many different blocks. So many different formats. This site is not intuitive to me. I can’t even really navigate my way back to this entry that I’ve written when I click back to the homepage. Who would even want to read what I wrote? How would people even find my blog? I genuinely have no idea. I thought about having a specific focus for the blog but I’m realising now that I (like everyone) am a multi-faceted person. I am not always travelling, I am not always happy, I am not always sad. I am not always trying new skincare products. Perhaps eventually I will collate all my various thoughts, emotions, and experiences into this blog. For now, I just wanted a place besides my journal to put them down. Somewhere public, but anonymous. And show you how my life really is. The good and the bad. So you know you’re not alone. So we can get through it together. All I can say is at this point in time, I am putting on a brave face and channeling my lonliness into creating something that perhaps might be beautiful one day. I’m trying new things and new challenges in order to find my happiness and live a more fulfilled life. Maybe this blog can become something, maybe it won’t be. At the very least, it will be a place where I can read about what my headspace was at 1:37am exactly 7 weeks after my breakup.

Even through the dark nights and crappy first drafts, of me stumbling my way onto blogging, I can feel a spark in me that is beginning to burn – a newfound sense of what my life should be and how I can get there. That meaningful life I’ve been meaning to live. A small sparkle, a starlight.